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There's a demon living in my house.  A bold statement I know, but having analyzed the situation, thought about all the possibilities and performed an empirical analysis involving pie charts and Venn diagrams, it seems to be the only explanation.  What else could be consuming all my spare time (and odd socks)? It could be something to do with the fact that having spent years as a freelance writer, I've recently had to take paid employment (fortunately still as a writer).  Going to work every day certainly uses up some time.  But I'm more inclined to go with the demon idea. I like to think it lives under the bed in the spare room, perhaps with the mouse that occasionally scampers into the lounge late at night.  That would explain the scent of sulfur.  And the creepy chanting.

So basically I'm not getting to play as much Magic as I'd like.  To be honest, such is my addiction that even when I spend a day doing pretty much nothing but playing Magic (and courting divorce in the process), I still don't really feel that I'm playing as much as I'd like.  But that aside, at the moment, there's more pressure for the gaming time I have to be quality.

Fortunately it very much has been.  I've divided my time mostly playing either Pauper (playing various home brew versions of U/B Ninja, Affinity and MBC) or Standard.  And it's one of the two Standard decks I've been mostly playing that I want to talk about today.  But before I do, here are some warnings:

1. It's a slightly silly deck in Jund colours
2. It probably isn't the next evolution of Jund
3. It's so unlikely ever to appear in tournament play, that I'll promise here and now to streak naked through the next GP if it ever wins anything
4. It really is quite silly
5. This point reserved for advertising

Having said that, it's a lot of fun, and not too expensive to throw together.

How to win

The basic point of the deck is to win through a Planeswalker's ultimate.  Given that we're in Jund colours, you can pretty much guess which walkers I'm talking about.  But then I'm not using every on colour planeswalker, so perhaps it'd be better to be explicit.

Sarkhan the Mad might very possibly be better than Sarkhan Vol in this instance, but somehow I have a small inclination towards the latter.  He's easier to make stick around for longer (in that he's able to build his loyalty over time), and I love the possibility of going ultimate with him, then casting another one to give those lovely dragon tokens haste.  Happily, the deck I'm about to show you managed to give me that pleasure a few times.

Anyway, so those are our main win conditions.  Beautiful, fun, but eminently fragile.  We need ways to protect them.  They're most vulnerable to creatures, so we want blockers, and/or removal.  Well we're in Jund colours, which I hear has some pretty tasty removal options.  Chandra Nalaar counts as removal herself, but we'd prefer to build her up to her ultimate if possible, so we'll just keep thinking of her a win condition for now.  Of course we'd be more than happy to use her for removal in the absence of better options.

How to avoid losing

Here's what I went with:

		Bituminous Blast is in as hoped for two for one.  I'm mindful of my slightly steep curve, so I don't want a full playset, but a couple should shore us up against creatures that can survive a Bolt.
		Fleshbag Marauder takes shrouded creatures.  Really I'd prefer Gatekeeper of Malakir, but that would be a stretch too far with the mana base.  Still, the Marauder is solid, and works well with Liliana Vess' ultimate, and Sarkhan Vol's second ability.
		Lightning Bolt requires neither introduction nor explanation.
		Royal Assassin is one of my favourite ever cards, and is there for a chance at some recurring card advantage.  We don't have especially great walls in these colours, but if we're lucky, the Assassin will fill the same role.
		Terminate takes efficient care of the rest.

I was tempted to go with more burn instead, and considered cards such as Burst Lightning and Staggershock.  Since I'm packing a lot of removal, there's always a danger I'll have a hand full of dead cards against low creature count, or creatureless decks.  But whilst burn can always be thrown at the dome, it felt suboptimal for the primary job, which is keeping the opposing board clear and letting our Planeswalkers build loyalty in comfort and safety.

And there's always the board to sort out creatureless decks for games two and three.

So that's win conditions and removal sorted.  And in fact there's not room for much else.  We could do with a bit of an engine though.  The curve feels a little high, and the deck potentially a little slow.  Some acceleration is in order, and possibly a little card drawing if possible.

How to get there

Obviously Garruk accelerates for us if we can find him, but we need more than that.  I didn't feel the need for a huge engine here, but just a little prod in the right direction.

		Awakening Zone is there to chump, and provide acceleration.  It's also good with both Sarkhan Vol and Garruk Wildspeaker, both of whom can pump.
		Birds of Paradise fixes, accelerates, comes down on turn one, gets pumped by our Planeswalkers and uses its evasion, and dies immediately to Lightning Bolt nine times out of ten.  And yet still we love it.
		Somehow I just plain like Explore.  It's not the most efficient acceleration, but you can't knock the cantrip.  If you have some lands in hand and can get it off on turn two, it's good times.  In the late game at least it replaces itself, and almost makes your deck effectively 56 cards, Manamorphosesque.

I was tempted by Joraga Treespeaker, but ultimately decided it wasn't needed.

And that's most of the deck dealt with.  There's room for just a little more though, and it's these guys

How to fill out the deck for fun and profit

I had six slots left after deciding on respective quantities of the above, and land.  I went for a playset of Bloodbraid Elf, which is rarely a bad idea if you've got space and you're in Gruul colours.  In this deck, the elf is very likely to find me some removal, and at worst picks up an Explore for a nice cantrip.  I needed to up my creature count to take more advantage of my Planeswalkers, and the hasty cascading favourite felt like the perfect pick.

Which left a mere two slots.  With no method yet of dealing with artifacts or enchantments, I went for a couple of Acidic Slime.  Not only does it Naturalize reliably, it can also take care of an annoying Celestial Colonnade if needed.  The fact that deathtouch makes it count as pseudo removal is icing on the ooze cake.  Which now that I think about it, sounds horrible.

The Deck

 

Some of the quantities may look a little odd.  I'd probably like another Awakening Zone, but I only own one, hence the singleton copy.  Though to be honest the Zone wasn't amazing in testing, so perhaps a singleton is a reasonable figure.

Now let's see how this baby drives.

Games

Game 1 vs. biran (Mono White Weenie)

I keep a decent opening seven of Birds of Paradise, Bloodbraid Elf, Sarkhan Vol, 2 x Savage Lands, Rootbound Crag and Swamp on the play.  Biran lays down a turn two Sigiled Paladin to my turn one Birds.  That's enough to stop my Elf in his tracks.  I tap my Birds to power out the Elf on turn three hoping to cascade into removal.  I get Explore instead, and have the land to use it as acceleration, so I'm not too unhappy.  On his turn, my opponent lays down a Howling Mine.  I have an Acidic Slime in hand, but I have no intention of removing the Mine, since it benefits me as much, if not more than my opponent (since I get to draw first).

On turn four I drop my first Planeswalker of the testing, in Chandra Nalaar.  She makes short work of the Paladin.  Next turn I play my second in Sarkhan Vol.  He pumps the Elf so the Veteran Armorsmith on the other side of the table is no threat, although Righteousness changes all that and ultimately send Bloodbraid to the bin.  Not wanting to leave my walkers undefended, I tap out to cast Royal Assassin.

On my turn six I use Chandra to kill a White Knight, which was immune to my Assassin, and cast an Acidic Slime, destroying a land.  I figured I between the Assassin and deathtoucher my Planeswalkers were sufficiently protected from my opponent's two Veteran Armorsmiths.  Next turn I went ultimate with Sarkhan, then cast a second one to give those five shiny new dragon tokens +1/+1 and haste.  And that was that.

 

Game 2 vs. Karston (Naya Control)

I mull to six, and keep Bloodbraid Elf, Sarkhan Vol, Evolving Wilds, Savage Lands and two Mountains on the draw.  By turn four I'm facing down Wall of Omens, and Protean Hydra with three counters, and a Luminarch Ascension sporting one counter.  I immediately Lightning Bolt the Hydra.   On my turn four I cast the Elf, again hoping for removal, and again getting Explore.  I attack anyway, bluffing another Bolt, but predictably I'm stopped by Wall of Omens.  Another counter goes on the Ascension.  If that baby gets to four, I'm in real trouble.

Karston casts Prodigal Pyromancer on turn five, which renders my Assassins, and to a lesser extent Birds, useless.  I cast Sarkhan, pumping the Elf up to Wall killing power.  Wanting more counters on the Ascension, my opponent chumps me with the Wall.  The Ascension goes to three.  Next turn he adds Knight of the Reliquary to the mix.  On my turn I make a misplay and cast Fleshbag Marauder.  Can you see the mistake?

The right play was to activate Sarkhan's second ability, steal the Knight, attack with the team, then cast the Fleshbag in order to sac my opponent's creature.  Instead I had to sac my own Fleshbag, then steal the Knight in order to get some damage through and stop that Ascension reaching the magic four counters.  I finished my turn casting a Royal Assassin, since the Pyromancer was sacced in response to the Fleshbag and the coast was relatively clear.

Path to Exile accounted for the Assassin, and the Knight took Sarkhan down to a frankly mutinous one loyalty.  On turn seven I swing for four again with my pumped Elf, and cast another Assassin for defense.  Karston responded with Lightmine Field, doubly ensuring that the Assassin would be staying out of the red zone.  I Terminated the Knight on his end step to clear the way, still desperate to do some damage each turn to keep the Ascension on the safe side of lethal.  Where was Acidic Slime when I needed it?

In the end I was able to keep swinging with a pumped Elf for the game.

 

Game 3 vs. Nohcra (Bant Usual Suspects)

I'm on the play with Acidic Slime, Bloodbraid Elf, 2 x Terminate, Evolving Wilds, Mountain and Swamp.  My first play is to Terminate his attacking Qasali Pridemage on his turn three.  On my turn four I play the Elf, cascading into some pseudo removal in the form of Royal Assassin.  Hopefully that'll keep his newly cast Rhox War Monk at bay.  On his turn four Nohcra initiates an eight point life swing by attacking with the Monk, given exalted status by Noble Hierarch.  A subsequent Path to Exile means I won't be assassinating anything on my turn, royally or otherwise.

On turn five I decide that Acidic Slime is my best defence, and cast one of the two in my hand, destroying a Seaside Citadel, leaving my opponent with only a Sunpetal Grove, Plains and Noble Hierarch as mana producers.  The Slime works, and Nohcra passes the next turn doing nothing but replacing the Seaside Citadel with another.  For consistency's sake, I send it to the graveyard with my second Slime.

Mana denial seems to be a successful strategy here, as I cast Sarkhan Vol on turn seven, and send everything into the red zone suitably pumped, leaving only a single Slime as home defence.  I soon get another Elf, which cascades into a Fleshbag Marauder, and overwhelm my opponent.

 

Game 4 vs. Welovefoils (U/W Baneslayer Control)

Opening a one land hand I mulligan to six and keep Bloodbraid Elf, Fleshbag Marauder, Awakening Zone, Savage Lands and 2 x Forests.  My first play is the Zone on turn 3, which Welovefoils answers by adding a counter to his turn two Ajani's Pridemate thanks to Sejiri Refuge.  It beats me for three.  I cast my Elf on turn four, which flips up a Lightning Bolt.  My opponent preserves his creature with Negate, but my Elf gets through for three. 

On his turn, Welovefoils (who incidentally doesn't appear to love foils that much, given that only his basic lands are foil in this deck) casts Survival Cache for life, a card and another token on his now 4/4 Pridemate.  Pretty good for three mana, considering it's all going to happen again for free next turn.  He keeps his creature back on defence though, perhaps sensing the futility of attacking into my Eldrazi Spawn blockers.  He only has Glacial Fortress untapped, so I cast Fleshbag Marauder with impunity, saccing a spawn token, and watching the increasingly worrying Pridemage head to the graveyard.  My Elf takes him down to 18, and then I lose my whole team next turn to Day of Judgment, which wasn't entirely unexpected.

Still having only four lands out on turn six, I pop a spawn token to power out Acidic Slime, bringing my opponent down to four lands too.  He responds far more impressively with another Ajani's Pridemate and Jace Beleren, which immediately draws him a card.  At this point he has a better board, more lands and more cards in hand.  I even things up slightly by Lightning Bolting the Pridemate, and sending Jace to the bin with an Acidic Slime attack.  The slime beats for a while until turn eight when Welovefoils brings the still good (you heard it here first) Baneslayer Angel into the fray.  I cast Terminate which he fakes to counter, then decides against it.

The Slime beats some more until his turn ten Ajani's Pridemate.  This time Fleshbag Marauder sees it off, and once again Day of Judgment accounts for my team.  Life totals are now 17 to 12 in my favour.  My opponent follows up his sweeper with another Baneslayer on the same turn.  I show it the Terminate I've been holding for the occasion.  I finally get a Planewalker on turn 12, in Liliana Vess.  And what a lot of lovely creatures there are for her to go ultimate over, if I can make it that far.  On turn 13 I get another Bloodbraid which brings a Royal Assassin along for the ride.  My opponent draws lands, which Vess makes him discard until she reaches her ultimate.  At this point, my opponent concedes.

 

Game 5 vs. ueda123 (mono Green Aggro)

I'm on the play with a dodgy hand of Acidic Slime, Fleshbag Marauder, Royal Assassin, Terminate and 3 x Swamps.  I'm not convinced I've built this mana base correctly, as my hands regularly seem to prove.  My opponent opens with a second turn Elvish Visionary and third turn Leatherback Baloth, but my Royal Assassin holds them off for the moment.  I'm stuck on three swamps for quite a while, and don't like the look of his turn four Sacred Wolf, immune as it is to my Assassin's ministrations.  I get a second Assassin on turn 5, which can at least trade.

I finally get a Forest on turn 7, which I use to cast Explore, which finds me a much needed Savage Lands which I also play.  ueda123 Casts a Boar Umbra on his Sacred Wolf, which I allow to beat my face for six.  He follows this up with an Aura Gnarlid.  I cast Acidic Slime on my next turn targeting the Umbra.  Next turn, my opponent adds Kozilek's Predator to his team.  I'm in real danger of an Overrun or Beastmaster Ascension at this point, time to do something positive.  It's obvious my creatures aren't going to get through his throng, I need a Planeswalker.  Chandra Nalaar heard my call, and gives him a mild slap in the face to go to 7 loyalty.  8 is the magic number,

I Bituminous Blast the Gnarlid and add Garruk Wildspeaker to my team before Chandra reaches her ultimate.  Unsurprisingly, this causes my opponent to concede.  The two Assassins and single Slime did their defensive job well simply by acting as deterrents, allowing my Planeswalkers to win the game.

 

Conclusions

The deck was a blast to play, and performed better than I expected.  I didn't play any mill decks, which could potentially cause problems, given that my list is mostly tuned to stave off creatures.  Still, all the Planeswalkers proved their worth, especially Sarkhan Vol who was a star every time I drew him.  Garruk Wildspeaker is arguably slightly out of place in this deck, bit given the slightly low creature count, I like the ability to pump out 3/3 tokens.  That in itself possibly argues for the inclusion of Kazandu Tuskcaller, but I wonder if that could make a slow deck slower still.

So in a way this deck is a little like a Jund variant of Super Friends, it's just not as super.  Maybe 'Quite Good Friends' would have been a more appropriate name.  Super Friends generally uses a combination of Ajani Vengeant, Jace, the Mind Sculptor, Elspeth, Knight-Errant and Gideon Jura backed up by sweepers like Day of Judgment and Martial Coup, and spot removal in Path to Exile and Oblivion Ring.  This deck can't compete with that power (and certainly misses the card draw), but it's a lot cheaper.  If I was rejigging the list now, I'd probably add Earthquake to the side, although I rarely felt that I was struggling for removal, it's not inconceivable that a fast aggro deck could overwhelm me.

 

And that concludes this week edition of Out of the Blue.  I think I can smell the demon in the spare room cooking up some bacon, so I might wander in and introduce myself.  If I'm lucky I might even get some of my odd socks back.  Until next time then, if you can't be Super, at least try to be Quite Good.

 

Splendid Belt

www.splendidbelt.com