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     Now that WotC has broken the mold on having non-legal cards on MTGO (Gleemox, Planewalker Decks), it’s time to bring the grand-daddy of all non-legal cards to MTGO.  I am speaking, of course, about Unglued and Unhinged.

    Unglued was one of the things that got me into Magic, so I have a love for it that is pretty unhealthy.  I thought Magic was boring and I had some friends that showed me cards from Unglued which I thought were very funny.  I bought a ton of them right there on the spot.  Unglued, we were both young when I first saw you.  I close my eyes and the flashback starts, I’m standing there.  Little did I know how much this love would grow.

     The biggest reason for not including them on MTGO has always been that there is lack of physical interaction between players online and many of the cards involve being able to interact with your opponent.  However, not all of the cards from the Un-sets require physical interactions.  I own a complete play set of both Unglued and Unhinged, so I whipped them out and went through them, card-by-card, and calculated that the number of Unglued cards that were workable on MTGO was 55 and Unhinged was 84.  While neither of those is enough to field a set on its own, together that is 139, which is not a bad set size.  The colors would probably be way off, but I’m getting ahead of myself.  For those of you whom would like to see the list, you can see it HERE. I included several of the ½ mana and ½ p/t cards because I feel it is something that WotC could pull off.  Even without those cards, the number of cards is still really high.  Most of these cards already contain things MTGO can do; flip coins, roll dice, keep track of wins and losses.  These seem like easy cards to bring over to the online community.  Here are just a few of the cards that I would love to see the most online.

 

Super Secret Tech

This card is a must for online play.  Especially now that we know that premium cards make premium tokens.  Premium Sengir Autocrat makes ½ Serfs!  I like the sound of that.  I once argued that this should cause premium lands to tap for extra mana, which I now totally disagree with.  I think this card alone would cause people to buy a special Un-card collection.  I sell my premium cards as soon as I get them because I don’t see much point to them.  I often see people online that have “foiled” out their decks, but I’m left wondering, “What’s the point of foiling out fake cards?  Especially since I have the foil animations turned off.”  It’s not very impressive.  This would give people an actual reason to own premium cards online.

 

 

 

 

 

Burning Cinder Fury of Crimson Chaos Fire

Could there be a better card that this?  It has so many levels of annoying build into it that it just begs to be used in every single deck you make.  Tapping lands results in giving them to your opponents, but it doesn’t target!  That means in multiplayer, you can really start the politics.  How about we all choose not to give Johnny any lands?  This card is so good it even comes into play tapped. This shorty is an eenie, meenie, minie, mo lover.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chicken and Asses

Most of the Asses and Chickens made the cut of being able to work on MTGO.  That makes me happy.  These two creature types are integral to the Un-sets.  It just would be ‘Un’ without them!  Boooooooo bad joke!   Only the green ass didn’t make it and white chicken didn’t make it.  That seems like a relatively easy fix.  However this does present the unique problem of trying to talk about your Ass card without it getting bleeped by MTGO.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gus

I have to mention that I REALLY want this guy to work on MTGO.  Currently there is no way to get him in there, but man would it be awesome.  I always loved this guy simply because his name was Gus and he had a really odd picture.  His card says Summon Gus.  How much better could he be?  I would have to insist they not change that type line.  Oh Gus, if you could see that I’m the one who understands you.  Been here all along so why can’t you see that you belong with me?  Along the lines of impossible cards that I would love to see would be the B.F.M., but I can’t think of any conceivable way to do that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ghazbán Ogress

Not only is she a mega-hottie, she would add a lot of fun to the casual room, not to mention how crazy it would make multi-player.  Oh, my lovely Ogress.  There are so many love songs I could dedicate to you, but the best I could say is that I’m never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.

 

 

 

 

      The biggest problem with releasing a collection this size is distribution.  What would be the best way to release this collection?  The way I see it is one of two ways: (1) have a regular set release or (2) have a special release collection similar to the Planeswalker deck.  Of course the possibility exists that WotC could do both.  Maybe two is better than one.  But they’ve already got me coming undone.

 

Regular Set Release:  This would be the most fun.  I participated in four Unhinged release events (and won two of them) when it was released in real life.  I had a blast.  Unhinged was a lot of fun to draft simply because they bring so much randomness to the game.  The biggest downside to an online release event, similar to what happened in real life, a lot of players might not show up just because the cards aren’t tournament legal.  I can imagine waiting hours for even an eight-man draft to fire.  Un-Lands might increase the number of people willing to draft, but since the Unhinged ones were already released online, it would have to be the old Unglued ones.

 

Special Set Release:  This would be done similar to the way the Planeswalker decks are being sold to non-new players.  Players would need to go to the store and for $5-$10, you could buy this collection.  It would be just one of every card.  This would be much easier than drafts or sealed events.  The biggest downside would be for people like me.  If the collection cost $10, WotC can count on getting $40 from me because I’d want 4x’s of each card!

 

     So that begs the question, what would I do with these once I owned them?  We already have Freeform as a choice in the casual room and you can use Gleemox in it, MTGO’s only Un-Card currently.  Since anything is legal in Freeform, the Un-sets would fit right in!  If players really complained about people using Un-sets in Freeform, MTGO could always create a separate category similar to what they did for Freeform with Vanguard.  They could call it Un-Formed…… Oh snap!  I think I just named the online Un-set.  That’s perfect!  If U smile, then I smile.  It’s all good.

 

     Now the best news and the REAL reason I am writing this article!  It made me so happy; I didn’t want to spoil the rest of the article by telling you up front about it.  I was poking around in the card images directory (which, by the way, you should never do, it can ruin your game) and you’ll never believe what I found.  Unglued cards!!!  All 93 of them!  Check section 06169 – 06261 and section 07014 – 07377.  There aren’t any Unhinged cards there, just Unglued.  My initial guess is these are left over files from ver2.5.  There used to be a feature in the deck builder so you could see all cards ever made, even if they weren’t online.  If you look there are also images for all five moxen and Timewalk as well as other Alpha and Beta cards.  But I am keeping this in my brain as a positive sign that we may be getting the best cards, Unglued and Unhinged, even made (that’s fact, not opinion) on MTGO sometime in the future!

 

    Two quick decks that involve Un-cards.  These are two that I built way back when (around Mirrodin which is why the cards are not the best ones possible) and while they are annoying most people I played them against thought the idea was very funny, but then asked that I never play these decks again without giving a warning in advance.

The point of this deck is fairly simply.  Ramp out to Mine, Mine, Mine!  That counts as your spell for the turn.  However, both players now have their decks in their hands, so it’s all good.  On your opponent’s turn, cast Wheel and Deal which forces him to discard his entire deck.  The even more irritating part is that your opponent can’t lost to have no cards in his deck.  He has to sit there and watch you beat him down until he dies.  Yay!

 

 

 

This deck is all about Gleemax!  Gleemax is all!  Gleemax is life!  We are not allowed to speak ill of Gleemax.  Lots of ways to get Gleemax into play in this deck.  However, just having it in play does not guarantee a win.  You have to watch out for creatures.  Turning Gleemax into a creature with March of the Machines really helps.  Nothing makes you feel better than being able to say, “I’ll attack you for a million.”