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By: BlippyTheSlug, Volker Kirstein
Apr 30 2015 12:00pm
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BlippyTheSlug on MTGO
Blog: Read At Your Peril (NSFW!)







I ate some cheese and crackers
They tasted really great
Then I started up the tractor
And dug up Sharon Tate

I Love The Dead

This morning, as I was getting a ride to Assiniboia, we happened  to pass a little cemetery on the side of the highway. It was an older one, probably started in the teens - meaning the 1910s - but still well maintained. There were probably a few graves from within the last fifty years, but the tombstones I could see from the road seemed to be consistent with stones from the teens through the fifties.

It was a beauty day today in southern Saskatchewan! The farmers came poking out of their sheds, and were going at it. We passed a sprayer and a seeder on our way, and all through the day I saw rigs out in the fields just givin' 'er.

Anyway, right on the other side of the cemetery fence, someone was doing some backhoe work on a dugout. (A dugout is the 'rectangular pond' you see on prairie farms). And that backhoe was working hard; clods of sod were being strewn about.

I saw what looked like the bucket 'catching' on something, and immediately thought o poop he hit a body! But then I saw a shrub start to give, and we got a better angle in passing, and I realized it was just roots.

But it did give me an idea to write about something other than building boy/girl lego castles, or how much fun I'm having over at Missy's... 

Let's turn those graveyards into feeding pits. Let's find some ugly, nasty beaters that feast on the rotting flesh of the buried dead. Beasties like that give rise to the greatest flavor text of all time:

Ach! Hans, run!

Goyfs. Not puny little Tarmogoyf, oh no. While a staple in every format he's legal in, he's just too... too... little. The biggest he's ever going to get on his own is a measly 8/9.

No, I'm talking the big, beefy corpse eaters, Lhurgoyf, and his regenerating cousin Mortivore.

Oh, yeah!

The basic game plan here is easy: fill the graveyards with creatures as you ramp up Lands, and bash away with Necrophages. Most of your creatures do double duty, but ultimately have one goal: die and feed the Necrophage(s).




These two critters have pretty much the same (double) function - grab you some land and end up in the graveyard - they play slightly differently.

Turtle Boy - I know he's snake but he looks like a four armed turtle to me - is strictly a blocker. It's so rare that he gets beats in, it's not even worth mentioning. He's strictly a Rampant Growth on legs.

Swamp Thing, on the other hand, is there to swing. Sure, he's gonna die. That's the point. You want him to trade with your opponent's chump. You want them to end up in the grave. And you still get your Rampant Growth.



This nasty little Elemental is your Terror with legs. Same mana cost, same effect, plus a body in the graveyard!

Maybe someday there'll be a Doom Blade or Go for the Throat with legs, but this guy is more than sufficient in many, if not most, circumstances.

Anyway, a 3/2 beater with Fear (plus the Terror!) for is nothing to sneeze at, either. If he's on the board, he usually has to be dealt with.




This is what we have for Naturalize. Yes, there are other 3CMC creatures that might work (Reclamation Sage and Harmonic Sliver come to mind), but they're out of color, or, more importantly, don't die to do their thing

Remember, we want creatures in the graveyard! So what it we need a to do it? That's what Turtle Boy and Swamp Thing are for.

Plus, there's super-secret tech involved that will become apparent soon enough.

Oh! His Fat Ass has come in handy more than once.



More removal on legs. This time in the form of Diabolic Edict. Which is nice to get around Hexproof creatures.

Hehehe... Many times, an opponent won't block Swamp Thing, thinking to cheat me out of my Rampant Growth and slow me down. After all, he's only taking two. Then comes the second Main Phase, and boom! This is when I drop the Fleshbag, and trade Swamp Thing, a 2/1, up for a 3/1.

And that chump that he didn't block with goes away, as well. Too bad, so sad. Buh bye!




We're not coming out of this unscathed. We're going to get beats put on us. Vampire Nighthawk is arguably one of the best all-around mitigator of said beats.

He has Flying. He has Lifelink. And, best of all, he has Deathtouch! You usually don't care too much if he dies, as long as he takes somebody with him.

More often than not, you're going to get some beats in with him, as well.




Remember that super-secret tech I was talking about earlier? Here she is.

Ain't this Bad Ass babe beautiful? A 3/3 with First Strike, and Deathtouch! She's gonna bap yours before they can smack her, and yours gonna die.

And check out that rules text: Whenever a creature an opponent controls is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, you may return target artifact card from your graveyard to your hand. Notice any artifacts we might have in our graveyard?

Hehehe... there's another artifact you'll see soon enough, too.




Sometimes, a board wipe is indicated. Black Sun's Zenith allows me to do that somewhat selectively. Taking out a swarm of tokens while leaving my Nighthawk intact - albeit as a 1/2 - for example.

The fact that it shuffles back into your library after resolving gives it a leg up over Damnation or Infest, IMO.

And sometimes there's that one critter that you just can't get rid of any other way. Putrefy works just fine as an ersatz Terminate

(B)Eaters of the Dead


Oh, yeah! That's what I'm talkin' 'bout, baby! The more creatures that go into the graveyards, the bigger these things become! And this deck is just full of creatures that want to go into the graveyard. What's not to love?

While their famous cousin Tarmogoyf is the darling of many formats, these two oft forgotten members of the family tree can grow well into the double digits! It's not at all unusual for a Lhurgoyf to grow into a 13/14, or for Mortivore to become a 12/12. Mort has the advantage of being regenerable; he's tough to kill.

Bonehoard is the other artifact that pairs with Glissa, the Traitor. While not technically a creature, it does have Living Weapon, which is just as good. O the fun you can have if you can attach it to a 'goyf! Or a Nighthawk! Need I say more?

Svogthos is a man-land. If you've read me for any length of time, you know that I swear by man-lands. I'll splash into a Cruel Control deck just to run Raging Ravine. If I had a nickel for every time man-lands have pulled my cojones out of the fire, I'd have a buttload* of nickels. Anyway. Svogthos is another huge beater, just not quite as big as the 'goyfs, or the Bonehoard plusses. That's because it only counts the critters in your graveyard, not all graveyards. The flip side is, again, this deck is just chock-full of creatures that want to go to the graveyard.

*Buttload = 2 Hogsheads = 4 Barrels = 126 Gallons



Overdrive!, which started on July 4th, 2011, is the original Modern format Player-Run Event! In fact, Overdrive! is even older than Modern, having started out as an event in the Overextended format. Overdrive! is a single elimination event: two men enter, one man leaves. Registration is done via Gatherling. You can find more information at the main event thread here



Overdrive! #180
Players: 20
Champion: 6argamel / Collected Company
Runner up: Procrastination / Podless Pod
Decklists and results from all Overdrive! events can be found here.  

6argame brought this new incarnation of Abzan Midrange to the shindig, and after a Round One BYE, proceeded to kick in the shins of Treasure Hunt, Grixis Delver, Living End, and Podless Pod, to come out on top as Overdrive! #180 Champion!

Procrastination brought this Podless Pod build, also with 4 Collected Company, to the party, and spoiled the plans of UW Control, Phyrexian Zoo, RDW White Lightning, and Death & Taxes before succumbing to the almost mirror.






Ham on Wry IV ~ The Erik Friborg Celebration Classic

It's time to pull this strange rocket out of the storage shed and take it for a ride once again. What started as a kneejerk response to morbid trolling has turned into an annual celebration of the life and contributions of Erik Friborg, and a celebration of the MTGO community as a whole.

Join me for the fourth running of Ham on Wry!

Time: Sunday, May 3th 2015 Noon EST/1600 UTC
(May 4th is a Monday)

0800 1200 1700 2000

Format: Constructed Vintage, X Rounds Swiss, T8

Players 8-16 17-32 33-64 65-128 129-226 227+
Rounds 4 5 6 7 8 9

Announcements and game chat: channel #HAM
Registration is open on Gatherling. Decklists are required.
Intentional Draws are allowed.

Players, pairings, and standings for this Event, along with the current Prize Pool, can be seen here.
Note the tabs at the bottom of the spreadsheet for easy navigation. You can review past events, as well.

Tempest Remastered

You know that I always try to get you guys wazoo prizes. This year is no exception.

From the Tempest Remastered announcement:

"When Vintage Masters released, there was a huge outpouring of enthusiasm from the Magic Online community. People could finally obtain hard-to-find Vintage cards—including the Power Nine—for the first time online. Not only that, but we heard time and again that the set was a ton of fun for Limited play. Our goal with Tempest Remastered is to recreate those great play experiences and get sought-after cards into the hands of players—this time, making Legacy play more accessible to folks who are new to the format."

Since the Tempest Remastered events start the Wednesday following (May 6) this event, I thought that TPR would be a good fit. The good folks at Wizards of the Coast agreed, and have generously kicked in 75 (75!Tempest Remastered boosters!  (30-15-9-9-3-3-3-3)

Any boosters won will be awarded to accounts during the May 6th downtime, so you'll be able to use them in the release events! Woo hoo!

The Slug's looking out for y'all.

Projected Payout:

T58/$5 Bot Credit

10 x $5 Bot Credit Door Prizes

With this much chum in the waters, I expect a large turnout, with a great many sharks. Erik was no carebear when it came to gameplay. In fact, I'd call him downright cut-throat. I expect a significant percentage of players showing up to not be carebears, either.

Once again, to be clear: There will be sharks.

Oh yes, there will be sharks.


The Twitterverse

Magic Online

Other MTG/Wotc


Contact me if you wish to add your event.



I'm surprised that the "Ach! by Rerepete at Thu, 04/30/2015 - 20:57
Rerepete's picture

I'm surprised that the "Ach! Hans, run!" deck isn't running any of the exploit creatures like Vulturous Aven.

Looks exciting Blippy! by Clan Magic Eternal at Fri, 05/01/2015 - 11:12
Clan Magic Eternal's picture

Looks exciting Blippy! abstrakt66, cronin, and youhavenogame should all be participating!


"... before succumbing to the by Procrastination at Fri, 05/01/2015 - 20:23
Procrastination's picture

"... before succumbing to the almost mirror."

Someday when I do pass from this mortal coil, I hope the cause is something just as fantastic.

Hmm Lich's Mirror comes to by Rerepete at Sat, 05/02/2015 - 11:37
Rerepete's picture

Hmm Lich's Mirror comes to mind