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By: hamtastic, Erik Friborg
Nov 24 2008 12:01pm
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Solemn Simulacrum

"Finally... This world will get what it deserves.".  In the instant before this entire plane of existance is wiped away, Sammy's 'life' flashes before his eyes.  "That elf.  That damnable elf.  If only we had never crossed paths...  I'll bet that even she never thought that I could make *this* happen.  And it servers her right.  I've been miserable ever since she cursed me to this existence.  The world can go to hell for all I care, and it looks like it's about there."
+4 Solemn Simulacrum
+4 Obliterate


Indeed it is, Sammy, indeed it it is.  I have now fulfilled my bargain with you, and in so doing, will start to rebuild this world for me and my pets.  I remember the day we met all too well.  Your sadness, your despondency emminated from you like the stench from a long dead Hundroog.  In fact, it was that sadness that drew me to you in the first place.  I couldn't help but wonder what had happened to allow you, a machine of all things, to feel so much sadness.  It was only after I heard of the inexcusable acts that were done to you, and which you were forced to witness first hand, that I decided to partner up with you.  You couldn't see the forest for the trees though.  You knew that something was wrong, and that something needed to be done.  But you lacked the knowledge of the how and the why.  And that's where I come in.  I have those answers, and more.  Much more.  Even if I have to align my skills with a beast of the forest... these emotions you have invoked are more powerful than any I have felt before.  And I will help you get your revenge.  Allies be damned.

+1 Sarkhan Vol
+1 Garruk Wildspeaker
+1 Hundroog

Sarkhan Vol
Garruk Wildspeaker

When I look back at all the lands that we have traveled through while looking for assistance.  From the dense foliage to the tumultous mountain ranges... it makes me weary just to think of it.  The journey has made me stronger though, and even still, I was not strong enough to help you on my own.  Someday, maybe.  I will continue to work until I alone am powerful enough to avenge the wrongs which were visited upon you.

+4 Taiga
+4 Wooded Foothills
+8 Forest
+7 Mountain

Wooded Foothills

But for now, I must begin the recreation of *this* world.  My ... master... sure did quite a number on this place.  Were I not a planeswalker myself I too would have been destroyed.  Luckily my powers are sufficient to remain here until things are somewhat restored.  And to that end, my 'partner', Garruk, will be quite handy.  He lacks the emotions I would like in a partner, but his heart is in the right place.  I had but to hint at the attrocities inflicted upon a fellow creature and he was  quickly on board with what he *thought* the plan was.  He was aware that we needed to build a fantastic mana store to restart the world... but he thought he was going to be in charge of rebuilding the world.  He was even so convinced of this fact that he called in many of his old allies to assist with the production of our mana.  What a fool!  My master is far too malevolant to allow that idealistic backward troglodite build a new world order.  I have every expectation that I will be used to whatever purpose I'm most needed.  And I don't really care... so long as I get to see the world explode in the process it will be worth my while.

+4 Sakura-Tribe Elder
+4 Diligent Farmhand

I was promised by my 'master' that I would get to play with some new dragons.  I trust him about as far as a Merfolk could throw a Baloth... and true to his word he opened the aether and summoned one out of nowhere... it was amazing.  Such raw elemental power!!  Of course, he also made a similar arrangement with Garruk... and the beasts he has brought forth sicken me a bit.  So much power, so much destruction... that power really should belong to my dragons.  But I'll forbear.  For now, at least.

+3 Pardic Dragon
+1 Thunder Dragon
+4 Greater Gargadon
+2 Durkwood Baloth

Pardic Dragon
Greater Gargadon
Thunder Dragon
Durkwood Baloth

As I prepare myself to call forth my precious pets, I watched in awe as the master summons forth unbelievable amounts of fire and heat... he controlls the lightning in the sky and the fire from under my feet.  Perhaps he truly is powerful enough to wear the mantle of 'master'.  There is so much that I could learn from him, if only he were staying around after this ordeal I could pick his brain for some hints and points about his truly amazing magics.

+3 Lightning Bolt
+3 Firespout
+2 Branching Bolt
+2 Hull Breach

Lightning Bolt
Branching Bolt
Hull Breach



This is not a budget column.  It's not a column for wacky decks or amazing tech.  It's not a column to breakdown the meta or to analyze the game we all love.  It's a column that's inteded to hopefully entertain.  It's based on the the untold stories of the denizens of the Magic Multiverse.  The working joes, so to speak.  All characters are copywritten by their respective owners.  All Magic names are owned by Magic: the Gathering/Wizards of the Coast/Hasbro. 

Join me next time when we unveil who tortured Sammy into madness, and what her role will play in the rebuilding of the future that Sammy fought so hard to destroy!


by Anonymous(Unregistered) (not verified) at Fri, 11/28/2008 - 13:19
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super cool!! i wana see more of this!!

episode 1 by Anonymous(Unregistered) (not verified) at Wed, 11/26/2008 - 10:46
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errr.... ooookkkkkk....

by hamtastic at Mon, 11/24/2008 - 16:42
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For anyone wondering what the heck this is all aboot, it's the introduction to a rather strange endeavor.  This first short story in particular is going to tie a few different things together.  MTG Flavor, MTG decks, MTG events, etc in a way that really doesn't actually exist at all.

Hang in there, Episode Two gets disturbing.  ;)