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By: LeagueGeek, J-P Voilleque
Dec 24 2007 3:22pm
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Twas the night before Friday and all through the land,
not a creature was stirring, 'cept me. Well, my hands.

They shuffled and cut and they fiddled and fixed,
in the hopes that this deck would be randomly mixed.

The kid was asleep, though not nestled in bed -
she sleeps with no covers and a bear on her head.

And I at my table, with keys and a lanyard,
was striving to break that thing we call Standard.

When out on the roof there arose such a ruckus
I dropped my foil Ironfoot right on its tuckus.

I rose from my chair, saying dubya-tee-eff,
knocked over my travel mug from Pampered Chef,

and generally started to whine and to whinney
when a big ol' fattie came down through my chimney.

"Santa!" I cried, "ain't you a bit early?"
he looked at me, with his beard all a-swirly,

winked one blue eye and then winked the other,
"I heard you were making a deck for me, brother."

"'Tis true," I replied, "every year, 'round December,
I build a deck that's designed to remember

the spirit that Christmas brings to our hearts.
And of course, I build in the best Santa art."

I held up a card - Brion Stoutarm,
he gazed at the picture, a little alarmed.

Brion Stoutarm
I bit my lip during his contemplation,
"It's okay," I said, "but it's no Meditation."
Searing Meditation

"Now THAT looked like me," he agreed with a grin
"but this fellow here, well, look at his chin!

"Plus, he's chucking guts at some unseen foe!
That's not how I roll, I'd like you to know."

"No, of course not," I said, sweating a bit,
"But he's red and white, and gains life when he hits.

He's a format-definer, a great midrange creature."
"Midrange," murmured Santa, "it IS my best feature."

"Exactly," I said, "plus he's Fling on a stick."
"Well, you can't go wrong there," said jolly St. Nick.

"You can if you're me," I said with a sigh,
"I've been working all day and I can't use the guy."

"Can't use him?" he cried, "he's a Giant - you see?
"Add Stinkdrinker, Harbinger, burn, and then me!"

"Been there," I said, "the deck is too slow.
And if Stinky dies, you've got nowhere to go."

"Zoo then!" he shouted, "your own standard GAT!"
"Handservant, Dryad, good stuff like that!"

"That had promise," I said, "but the elves are too dumb.
Most times they just sit there and suck on their thumbs.

The mana is shaky, and green cannot help,
you're too busy playing one-mana whelps

who MIGHT grow large sometime."  I shook my head,
"I finally gave up after several times dead."

"Bah," said Kris Kringle, "there's no need for tears.
I've seen lots of decks in my many years.

I think there's a way to make this a whopper -
bring in Santa's helpers, they'll be a show-stopper!"

"Elves?" I replied, "That's the same old setback -
only now it's four colors, red, white, green and black."

"Elves?!" he retorted, "are you off your nut?
Elves wouldn't help pull a knife from your gut.

They're nasty and dirty and they can't make toys.
It's Kithkin who bring all the holiday joys!"

And quick as a flash he dug through my box,
broke open some boosters he found in our socks,

"Voila!" he declared, with a look of pure glee,
You beat down with dorks and then finish with me."

"Brilliant!" I said, "I can't thank you enough.
Friday Night Magic is going to get rough!"

"No problem," he said, "just remember to heed
the cries of the poor and the meek, those in need.

'Cause you're lucky to get to spend nights out of bed,
while visions of cardboard race 'round your head."

I nodded, and went to the window to see
as he popped from the chimney with soot on his knee.

He flew off, calling his reindeer by name.
From a distance he turned, his face like a flame,

and yelled back to me as I watched from below,
"You're kold against blue black Mannequin, though."

Santa's Deck

4x Goldmeadow Stalwart
4x Burrenton Forge-Tender
4x Wizened Cenn
4x Knight of Meadowgrain
4x Avian Changeling
3x Brion Stoutarm
1x Thoughtweft Trio

4x Tarfire
4x Lash Out
4x Surge of Thoughtweft
4x Oblivion Ring

12x Plains
4x Mountain
4x Ancient Amphitheater


LOL by Anonymous (Unregistered) (not verified) at Mon, 12/24/2007 - 16:47
Anonymous (Unregistered)'s picture

Nice deck.  A few of the couplets don't scan, but all in all this was really funny.

Nice by Lythand at Tue, 12/25/2007 - 13:40
Lythand's picture

Nice Magic twist on an old classic rhyme