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Maks Romanov

How parents can get closer to their child

Parents can help their child believe in themselves and become closer to them by helping them do so.

There is a big difference between helping a child and doing something for him. Parents often believe that if they solve his problems for the child, he will love them more. But this, most likely, will lead to the fact that the child will grow up capricious and confident that everyone around him owes him. However, if you help your child in the right way, you can bond with him and develop a strong character.

A healthy way to help a child struggling with difficulties is to understand how they are feeling, rather than trying to fix it. If the child does not succeed in completing his homework, then with the help of help him. When parents do not prioritize their feelings about the situation, but listen to the feelings of the child, they show empathy towards him. When a child feels understood, he does not feel lonely and becomes more confident in himself.

A barrier to empathy can be when parents may think, "I can't talk to my child about this because I haven't encountered such situations." However, it’s not a matter of the situation, but of the child’s feelings. For example, imagine this situation: your daughter's best friend suddenly moves to another city. You may not have experienced this as a child, but most likely you know what loss is, the fear of loneliness and the anxiety that you will have to rebuild relationships with new friends. Empathy is easier when parents focus on the child's feelings rather than trying to fix the situation.

Listening to your feelings and staying in the present moment is very important. Especially when a lot of homework is being asked. But with help inspire your child to do their homework. For example, imagine this situation: your daughter confesses to you that she is scared to go to school without her friend. Focus on her feelings: “You look sad and scared. I'm sorry. You have every right to be sad. If I were you, I would be sad too. I understand you".

Reflecting and acknowledging the child's feelings soothes him and brings him closer to his parents. Also, when doing homework together, use this resource will serve as a good service in teaching your child. In such an emotional state, he better accepts the support and advice of his parents. So tell him, “I know you are in pain and you feel lonely. I will always be there. "

Usually, empathy is enough to help the child. With parental support, the child can find a way to cope with their difficulties. With this support, your daughter will be able to make new friends quickly. She will not only gain faith in herself, but she will also become closer to you.

Psychologists say that a child's safe attachment to their parents helps them avoid depression and anxiety. By showing empathy, you form such an attachment to you. Empathy has four components.

1. Emotional response and self-awareness. It is the ability of a parent to momentarily feel what the child is feeling and still maintain composure, knowing that you are still the parent. If you lose your composure, it will not help you cope with the situation, but will only make it worse.

2. Ability to see the situation from the point of view of the child. It is very important not to impose your point of view on the child, but to try to understand his position. For example, the phrase: “I've never had a best friend - and I'm fine. Just make new friends for yourself ”- won't help, because she denies the child's feelings.

3. Emotional regulation. Putting themselves in the child's shoes in order to understand his feelings, parents do not let the surging emotions take over. Their task is to calmly and compassionately inform the child that they understand his feelings.

4. Understanding the situation. Parents should be mindful of the difficulties the child is facing. For example, a teenage girl will have a harder time being separated from her best friend than an elementary school student. Peer relationships are especially important during adolescence.

Helping a child with difficult feelings is very important. But you must do it so that the child does not begin to think that everyone owes him. Empathy and empathy are a good way to maintain closeness with your child, strengthen their character and self-esteem.

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